Open Wide

Clearly there are many things which can influence our behavior. And additionally a link between our behavior and impulse reactions.

• What occupies our thoughts?
• What do we consider when we steal our heads away from the noise of society and media?
• What are the influences in our decision making?

If we answer these quickly and authentically, it can paint a snapshot of how we respond, converse, or behave.

We need to examine ourselves often. To be inward focused. I am not talking selfishness. But honestly looking at ourselves and and seeing what truly motivates us, and how those motivators express themselves and are lived out. Lived out in the things we say. The things we own. The things we do with our time. The things we do with our money. Perhaps self examination is an exercise we should all perform frequently. All too often we don't. It can be like going to the dentist.

I went through a long period of time during and post college where I'd neglected my dental visits. Needless to say, when I realized it had been far to long, I went in for a first of what turned out to be many visits to get things squared away from a teeth standpoint. There was a couple of visits for cleanings, a few for cavities and caps. I got the whole nine short of a root canal. Oddly, I enjoyed it. Not in a sadomasochistic way, but just that I knew it was a good thing to do for my mouth's future. There was discomfort, pain, and a monetary piece as well. It did change my behavior. Upon getting myself through this period of reclaiming my overall oral health, I find that I am flossing more and doing better things for my choppers.

We need to pay ourselves a visit often. Take the x-rays that reveal where we truly need a cleaning, a hole filled, or some overall replacing of things. I believe that if we do this, honestly, and on an ongoing basis, we can receive transformational change. And in turn have a big effect on the impulse of our thoughts, words, actions, and reactions.

Now I still visit the dentist on a regular basis, and have recently found that I have a couple of cavities. And during my self examination, the cleanings continue...

This Than or This

In raising two boys I have many times tried the reward system to encourage good behavior, decisions or choices. The if you do this than you can technique. This has proven effective in many cases, not so effective in others. Part of me really believes there should be no reward system as a lot of things simply are the right thing to do. And I want my boys to learn that we don't necessarily do something so we can get something, or gain permission to do something, or stave off any unwanted outcome.

I am fortunate enough to work with a team of folks who have spent the last two days reexamining how, what, and why we do what we do as a professional group. It has driven fruitful conversation about motivators. When thinking about professional environments, we typically look at a reward and goal system. If we do this than we will achieve High Sales, Profit, Recognition, Relationship, Promotion, Time Off, etc..

But what about us? How much of what we do is reward or result driven—solely reward or result driven. Or to stave off an unwanted outcome.

What if we took a this only approach? Not only in our professional lives, but more importantly in our personal lives.

• This is active
• This concentrates on how I do things
• This is rooted in why I do things
• This is grounded in belief, faith, compassion and restoration

Moreover, selfless. This is what I will do and this is how I will do it. I am not talking vocation or activity, but more energy and spirit.

What if we could all take this approach and not only blur any lines between the personal and professional, but decide we'd let outcomes rest out of our own hands. Trusting in God to deliver whatever outcome He deemed appropriate, or right. What sort of impact could we have?

Risky, yes. Exciting, definitely. Easy, no. Can I do this?

Psalm 37:5 states "Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and He will do this"

Brand New Day

I can't remember what the brand was (Total®?) that had the jingle when I was growing up that sung "Today is the first day of the rest of your life.". Perhaps that has been around for a long time, or someone really significant coined it, but I recall it from a commercial.

My wife and I had been attending a class centered around Soul Health. This was an interesting class which was facilitated (see 10/18 post) by an older fellow. This guy had a sweet spirit, and a grace about him—white hair, and a twinkle in his eye (think santa, not as fat, no beard, in a yellow sweater and khaki's). Certainly he'd done some tough, strong, "man stuff" through some wartime experience, but this guy now was something warm and gentle. He commented one morning "Though our bodies are decaying, our inner man is renewed everyday." You could sense that there was a genuineness to him saying this. You could also sense a childlike joy emitting from this older guy.

Now I have had many Monday morning diet, New Year's smoke quits, I'll start working out tomorrows, I'll pray mores, I'll do whatevers, to understand the decay piece as well as the desire to be renewed. My problem is that I tend to take renewal into my own hands.

C.S. Lewis tweeted (well, not C.S. doing the tweeting, but someone on his behalf) that "I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for them to wait". Now God must be saddened as we try to "do life" on our own without him. But I also imagine that, at times, He may have slight fatherly smile on his face, watching his children struggle, thinking "they'll see". This patience on God's part is a component in our learning and renewing process. And He'll let us struggle and fail on our own.*

We need to remember that our days become renewed when we stop our own self-management and Seek Ye First (Matt6:33), and allow the Lord to Restore our Souls (Psalm 23). I just wish I did more of this as I all to often keep my own hands tightly gripped on life's reigns.



*Certainly, in this world, struggle and failure won't cease as we rely on God, but there will be peace and joy amidst the struggle and our end game is assured.

Rally On!

Had the wonderful privilege to attend Rally Foundation's Benefit Bash last Thursday night. The event raises awareness and funding for childhood cancer research. The party was great, the food was wonderful, Atlanta's own Sweetwater brews were available (an added benefit—pun intended), Atlanta Brave Brian McCann and his wife Ashely were hosts, folks were extremely generous, but what stole the show was Lily Anderson, the guest Rally Kid and solid tumor fighter, singing Mylie Cyrus' The Climb.

Enjoy it here.

Visit RallyFoundation.org for more information on Rally Kids, the Foundation, and how you can help!

The Vote Bloat

I voted this morning. This is always an interesting situation to be in. Standing in line with my fellow citizens and making the decisions on who will represent us and be our voice. Additionally, trying to make sense of a few amendments from my yellow practice ballot. There were a few at the front of the line in a pretty boisterous conversation as to the state of the country and who's fault it was. And there were others who (myself included) just stood in line to wait our turn. I was seventh. I have now done my civic duty/participated in a glorious opportunity/joined the system/made some ignorant decisions/toed the party line/boldly entrusted some new leadership/hoped for change/or whatever.

A friend posted as his Facebook status the question is voting a Privilege or Duty. I guess it could be both. Or certainly more. However, in this day and age Politics and Voting have probably veered way past the Privilege/Duty rhealm. The big business of Fox News and CNN and the blood-thirsty and overly passionate yelling which goes on nightly has taken away my joy of the vote.

Additionally, this thirst/passion has worked its way into society and you can have those who've thrown in the towel having been so frustrated with government in general. And the "Look at me I voted and I am wearing this sticker to let you know that I voted and you should to and if you don't you are unamerican and should be ashamed of yourself".*

Does this loudness really get in the way of our true Privileges or Duties as people. Our Privileges and Duties to love. Our Privileges and Duties to give. Our Privileges and Duties to serve. Our Privileges and Duties to honor.You cannot legislate this stuff. And we try. One side will say that if you take money away, than people will have less to give. The other will say that if you don't take money away, people will hoard it. Both of which may be true. But this may take our focus off our neighbors both next door, and across the globe.

Now I am not for some sort of Utopian, "let's hope we can all love and care for each other and there is no need for government" sort of thing. But I do believe we could all think and act more along those lines. Not to an endgame. But we should consider how each each of us individually participate in loving and caring—how we use our privileges and duties.

We cannot entirely get there here and now. The Bible makes it evident that this earth will pass away (Matt 24:34-36). And we should not expect a government or election to cure us. Ever. But we each have a role to play. 1 John 2:9 states "Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness." Let's all take a look inward this election day. Hold the mirror up to ourselves, vs. the microscope to others.

A bit long today, but there's a lot on my mind about this stuff. Hope it makes sense.



*Clearly I have categorized some groups here, but my main thinking is that we all can get so bloated in ourselves, and in the positions we take that we lose the ability to hear, care and serve. Certainly there are folks who do a darn good job of navigating the ideological and social arenas in special and unique ways which are beneficial to society as a whole and are an example to others.

Unfollow Unclutter

I need to do some purging of my Twitter and Facebook accounts. Maybe I am just old, but personally I don't have the attention span or desire to monitor all the updates, insights or general self-indulgences. I expressed some feelings a little while back (Social Medium) (Filling the White Space) about Twitter and social media in and of itself, but I have found I just can't keep up with all the noise, and need to keep to that is not a part of the clutter.*

I do really like and use Twitter. The 140 character limit causes one to pare down communication quite nicely. And when used well from a content/pace standpoint, can really have impact—or cause a good laugh (thank you, Conan).

A bit of my blog inspiration has launched from a few well-tweeted words. And, I guess in a quasi-hypocritical manner, I can sometimes take these words and create a long-winded diatribe of my own.

So if you find yourself unfriended, blocked, unfollowed, or whatever, it is simply because I can't keep up. Or there are too many words. Or the pace is too frequent. My 43-year-old body and mind can only take in so much.




*Clearly I am speaking to my own individual noise equivalent and clutter. Of course with Twitter/Facebook we can individualize to suit your own desires, needs, and wants. However, sometimes we can get sucked in a bit deeper that we ought. Enough said...I don't want to get started...

Grace Allowance

Ephesians 7 reads "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace" When I consider Grace, I initially envision a soft, caring, supportive, encouraging, merciful image in my mind. According to Webster's, grace is "unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification"—additionally defines riches as "things that make one rich : wealth"—then, wealth as "abundant supply".

To yesterday's posting where I thought about the Grace for the moment vs. the future, I am encouraged to know that there is an abundant supply and that this is something we can receive without our merit. And that this is intended for regeneration and sanctification—to rebuild us and change us.

A while back I wrote about allowing for change (http://rickfossum.blogspot.com/2010/03/allowing-change.html) and how we, or those around us, respond when change in ourselves or others occurs. As God provides grace for the moment, we should all in turn should do the same.

Its been said that "one man's garbage is another man's treasure". I suppose this means that we all should consider what we consider garbage or riches.

Nearly Graced

A friend of mine whom has a child facing a degenerative disease was encouraged with this statement. "God provides grace for the moment. Not for our imagination".

God won't waste his Grace on our worry. He is asking us to live each moment—utterly trusting and resting in Him. As our mind gets active, and worry or concern sets in, our focus is elsewhere, and God doesn't tolerate elsewhere very well—nor will He Grace it.

Moving Things Along

My wife and I started a new study series at our church yesterday. Its in a classroom setting. Lots of chairs facing the front. A guy standing at a small podium in front of a whiteboard. There was a handout which had the guy up front's name and had his title as "facilitator". Not teacher, or leader. He's not standing up there teaching us, reading from his script. Just ensuring that things move along. And that there is some structure towards an end game.

I am a designer. People are salesmen, mechanics, housewives, teachers, students. I think I'd rather my vocation, or even a non-professional moniker be "facilitator". Perhaps we should all move ourselves to be facilitators. Folks who ensure that things are moving along with some sort of structure. Providing some sort of cross-pollination throughout our lives that has us assisting the process of thought, word and deed*.

I think often times I/we can see our "time at the podium" as a time to lead, teach or make our mark. And we don't see opportunities for facilitation. If we could all be so in tune to recognize cross-pollination or facilitation opportunities—particularly when action is required—maybe we'd lead more robust lives and impact more people.


*Of course that which is facilitated towards could be positive or negative.

Something Out of Nothing

I am in my minivan driving my second born to school today and, as we pass by a neighbors house, he shares: "Yesterday, my friend and I were bored so we went by Miss Clemmie's house, knocked on her door, and sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to her.". Are you kidding me?! Who does this?!

Miss Clemmie is a recently widowed woman of 70 or so. A real sweetheart who bakes a mean cake. In James 1:27, we are called to "look after orphans and widows". I asked my son if she liked it. He said she did.

I wish I were more like this. Climbing out of repetition and boredom to sing a song to someone. Not necessarily literally—though that would be cool—but creating something out of nothing. To make a moment—to make a mark.

Everyone's a Critic

For the life of me, I can't remember who stated it last week, but I was struck enough to take notes on my smart phone—Create vs. Critique. It is all too easy to have an opinion, or share what you believe is right or wrong with a situation vs. doing something about it.

• Critiquing is easy. Creation takes effort.
• Critiquing is all too often the default response. Creation takes consideration.
• Critiquing is typically negative. Creation searches for opportunity.
• Critiquing is drop and run. Creation is investment.

Clearly I am/can be/have been quite a critic. Somebody says or does something that I don't care for and I'll quickly point out my disagreement. Nothing wrong with disagreement, but is there an opportunity to take action—to do something about it? Here, I know I fall short...most of the time.

I critique my kids, my wife, my colleagues, my clients, my friends, my enemies, my church, my television, all sources of opinion and simply that which occurs while I am awake. I believe most of us don't take advantage of the our opportunities to create something. What would happen if we did?

What Do YOU Want?

I had the opportunity to spend last Thursday and Friday at Catalyst (www.catalystspace.com). A two-day Church/Christian leadership event. And what an event it was! Highly creative, Highly introspective, Highly motivating, Highly informative, Highly inspirational, and now I am Highly confused. Not in a bad sense, but in a "what do I do with all of this" sense. I took pages and pages of notes which will take time to digest and meditate upon.

Now I am the type of person that can easily be swayed into a "Yes! What he said! Let's go for it—let's do it!" reaction. My Sr. Pastor, Crawford Lorrits, recently tweeted that "the difference between reaction and response is listening".

So, instead of packing it all up and moving to Africa to feed the orphans (though who knows what the future holds), I need to take the time to actively and patiently listen—spend time in God's Word—and figure out what He wants me to do with all of this. Clearly, there are some things certain: My responsibilities as a husband and father. But after that, who knows? Needless to say, I am challenged.

Anyway, more to come blogwise I am sure...

Social Medium

So I wanted to tweet that the Donald Miller "Blue Like Jazz" movie is actually gonna be made due to the donations of many, and not a studio's funding. Then I asked myself "why?". Was it just to tweet? To let folks know that I was aware? To acknowledge that I was a donor?

This Twitter/Facebook thing is perhaps the most narcissistic medium ever. Yet, what about a blog?

Waiting Room

It's been said in sports that a good defense beats a good offense. Perhaps their is no better defense than patience. Sometimes sitting back, quietly and patiently, and taking what could be perceived as a loss can prove victorious. Particularly in the area of parenting.

I recall coming home for a first break from college,I sat at the dinner table with the family and ranted about something or other as if I, a seasoned college student and young adult, had all the answers—had life figured out. I am sure that my folks sat there, quietly, and thought (perhaps shared between the two of them later that evening) he'll see. Dictionary.com defines a patient as a "person or thing that undergoes an action". As a parent, we often undergo a lot of actions.

Now I am a talker, and oftentimes find it difficult to sit quietly. You know, Fire, Ready, Aim. Certainly patience is a virtue both inside and outside of parenthood. Oftentimes in many personal and professional instances, I wish I would undergo more actions without worry, voicing an opinion, or reaction.

Proverbs 19:11 states "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

Yes, patience is for sure a virtue. And it matures with age. Use it or lose it.

But Why?

My first born has quite the propensity to ask "why". If I ask him to stop doing something—why?. If I ask him start doing something—why?. It can be a series of whys that builds and builds to a potential boiling point on occasion. He may want to skip out on the task at hand, but the boy is also just a curious cat. Sometimes I have to remind myself of this in order to turn the boiling down to the general household simmer. Occasionally I pull out a "because I said so". Which, in my opinion, should be enough. Unfortunately, we don't always see eye to eye on that rationale.

But what about us. Do we ask ourselves "why?".* What are the motives behind what we say and do. Do we truly examine our thoughts, our actions and what directs or influences us. I am not talking blue or white socks, but more like "why did I just say that?". "Why did I just think that?". What are our motives. Are we self aware enough to know this? And when we do examine the motives, are we happy with that which has motivated us?

When I do consider my "why", all to often it can be "because I say/think/did so", or "because I felt like it", and not truly understanding or considering my influences, which tend to lean towards the selfish nature. I need to take more time to ask the "why" in my life.



* I'm not talking child/parent dialogue about cleaning a room, here. But a broader scope of decision making, commenting, and a general living out of things.

The Lot of Plot

Last night, my first born asked me to help him study for his 6th grade reading test. I was perusing his study notes and found that he was covering Plots and Themes within stories. Now I am a big fan of Donald Miller's Million Miles in a Thousand Years (I can't recommend a book more) in which he examines what makes a good story, and how our life story can impact the robustness of our own lives. Therefore, my son was in for some serious study help. If I can remember per my son's study notes, a good story will have the following:

1. The Plot-the overall facts and events within a story
2. An Exposition-the setting of time, characters and place within a story
3. A Conflict-well...a conflict
4. Rising Conflict-escalating events toward a climax
5. A Climax-the culmination of conflict within a story
6. Falling Conflict-a series of events which bring the climax toward conclusion
7. Conclusion-the concluding statement or rationale

Now I know I butchered some of the above but, after all, I am a Dad and perhaps not smarter than a sixth grader.

The we explored Theme-the point the author is trying to make. Both implied theme and obvious theme.

I walked through his study example, then made up my own story—something about two twins who always fought until a fire broke out, then mentioned how the Who's Tommy album (which he and I have listened intently to on long road trips) had all of the above, then read the story of the Prodigal Son, and then revisited the story of the Gospel—from its exposition of the God/Babe in Bethlehem through the rising conflict of the Pharisaic denouncement of Christ's authority, through the climax of crucifiction and resurrection to the conclusion of the sufficiency of sacrifice and salvation with God. All the while with the underlying theme of God providing the vehicle for his children to reunite with Him.

Now the poor kid probably got more than he'd bargained for when he asked me to help him study, but it probably stuck—we'll see.

Not to get too Miller-like, but if we do look for this in our lives—this storyline—the plot—the themes, it makes our mere lives all the more robust. My wife and I were considering this as we were talking on our Anniversary (13 great years) a couple of days ago. We looked back at the hard times, the times when we battle through, or made right decisions, or overcame obstacles. And realize that THIS is where the robustness and energy of life shows up. The plots and themes in our lives—particularly the reoccurring themes—need to be recognized, dealt with, celebrated and remembered.

And they all lived happily ever after....well...sort of....

Just Love?

This morning in a discussion group at church, we examined Love God and Love Your Neighbor as being the way to do Christianity. These are both good and incredibly important things. But when Jesus was talking with the Pharisees about what the greatest Commandment was—after He said that that there were no Commandments greater than these—the Pharisee agreed and recognized this love being more important than church traditions, etc.. Interesting was that Jesus said that his agreement had the Pharisee "not far" from the kingdom of God.*

Not far. Close, but no cigar. I am a big fan of the God/Neighbor love. Yet what is missing from the "cigar" is Jesus. He is the critical piece to the "cigar". The completing piece. The divisive piece. The hard piece. Sometimes I forget this. We cannot not keep him forefront. We cannot truly and fully love without our understanding of our own failures and sin—and the recognition of the selfless and atoning love of Jesus.

I am gonna try to continue to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. And love my neighbor as myself. And I want to do it through the lens and relationship of Jesus. No easy task. But the goal.

*See Mark 12:28-34

Thanks Right Now

A friend and fellow thinker posted the following to his Facebook status update:

There are days when I find it difficult to understand intent. They are usually not the days when life is going great. We often look for understanding in the midst of trial; but infrequently in triumph. We rarely ask WHY, with the "All I Have". But have no problems asking WHY, with the "All I Need". In everything give THANKS....Declare Something Today!!!!!

When times are tough, or intent of occurrences is unclear, we reach to God. However, He can move out of our own focus when things are rolling right along. It takes a discipline of consistent desire, communication and prayer to recognize God in our days of want (and have), in addition to need.

Truly—in everything—all things—all times—we are called to give thanks. We need to keep our antennae up and our heads clear to do this. In order to recognize all things God has created for each of us—unique to ourselves and our individual lives—to be thankful for.

"Give thanks to the LORD Almighty, for the LORD is good; his love endures forever." For I will restore the fortunes of the land as they were before,' says the LORD. - Jeremiah 33:11

The Christian Brand

A week or so ago, I was writing about marketing and the church. It had me consider, what is the "brand" of Christianity, or the church. There are all too many stories of hypocrisy, judgementalism, and a relative holier than thou perspective, which have helped shape a broader brand. Some of which is quite true. Some of which is an unfortunate misperspective.

Clearly this "brand" could use some attention. Not in a macro level to change peoples perception at a broad level—as if to say, Look, the church is cool, Look, we are an inclusive organization, Look we do really care. No, the attention must come at a micro level. A self-examination of each individual's relationship with Jesus— what He actually means, has done, and has set a life example for. And our subsequent response.

This requires work (in an effort and focused-persistence sense) and attention to detail. Yet almost conversely, freedom, spontaneity, and reckless abandon. We must assume a "choose today who you will serve" and a "love your neighbor" dynamic. The church and church goers (clearly myself included) must visit the mirror. Often.

Rights or Wrong

So this Gainesville, Florida pastor is organizing an "International Burn a Koran Day".

Is this:

• A temple-table-turning incident?
• A publicity stunt?
• An act based on heartfelt beliefs?
• A skewed interpretation of defending your religion? Your God?
• The right thing to do?
• Asking for trouble?

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I heard Robin Roberts state on Good Morning America that "...just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean you should.". Which I thought was a pretty agreeable statement. All to often, folks take there individual rights and presume them on others (think NRA, GLAD, and other acronymed or faith-based organizations). And we in turn put such a face on the folks involved—such a distaste. And all too often we lose sight of the individual—the human being—the God created.

We need to be tolorant of the dignity and value of every human being. We shouldn't lump their beliefs into their humanity (a nod to my pastor here). Certainly the degrees of tolorance of beliefs is open to interpretation, but when the grace and love for the individual is lost in the mix—shame on us.

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Is this Gainesville pastor taking some Jesus defending into his own hands? Could be. Does Jesus need this sort of defending? I think not.

When asked in Mark 12, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" answered Jesus, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.". Do we burn books and incite? Or love and pray for our enemies. To everything, there is a season. Is this one of them?