I was having a conversation in a coffee shop the other day with someone I hadn't seen in a long time. About six or so years ago we did some work together. She shared with me some of the reasoning behind why she left that work as it no longer suited her worldview or perspective on business. In a nutshell, she began to pursue a plant-based diet, and some of the work and industry in which we were working was related to the pharmaceutical industry, and her views on that had changed. Long story short, she became a vegan and is raising her daughter at home, pursuing what many might call an alternative, at the very least nutritionally alternative, lifestyle.
I too was a vegan—for a short while. I watched the documentary What the Health and converted. And boy oh boy I sure shared my changed dietary considerations with lots of people. I am sure I annoyed some (ask my wife). Perhaps I caused some to be curious, but I probably drove many to the nearest burger joint. To be honest, a few weeks later, pizza and beer were back in my belly again—I have such desire but poor follow-through.
There's a joke that goes something like "Q: How can you tell if someone is a vegan? A: They'll tell you."
My friend and I in the coffee shop talked about that vegan joke and laughed a bit. But this joke didn't hold true with our interaction. I learned about her dietary and lifestyle beliefs as a result of finding common ground and enjoying a conversation. We also talked about how that joke illustrates what it can be like when encountering a Christian. I'm not sure where this friend stands on faith, but she understands what it's like to meet some Christians.
I have another friend who uses phrases like "I need to make sure I am Christian in my behavior." or "I shouldn't have done that, it isn't very Christian." Perhaps that is this friend's way of calibrating and viewing some faith discipline in their life. But even as a follower of Jesus I find it nauseating—maybe that's just me.
How we talk about our faith matters.
So often Christians live within their church's, and even their faith's echo chamber. Listening to themselves and their pew mates, within the church walls, reading their church books, without listening to others who may think or live differently. There's a saying in a lot of Christian circles, and maybe a verse in the bible about "iron sharpening iron." I've always assumed that meant when two Christians are "sharpening each other" within their own faith lives. But I think we can be sharpened by anyone we have an honest conversation with. Christian or not. We can learn and have our beliefs poked, prodded, and refined. And maybe we can learn a bit more about what it feels like when we approach people and share our faith.
You see, when we believe we're right about something, or that we've discovered something that is helpful to all, we want to share it. But our presentation matters. When we take something seriously, HOW we talk about it helps the seriousness of it's receptivity. If we don't consider HOW, when we step into situations to share our faith, our evangelism can seem like that vegan joke. "How do you know if someone is a Christian? They'll tell you."
We all evangelize something. Our eating habits. Our faith. Our politics. Our passion for dogs over cats. But how we do it matters so much if we want to be heard. So pay attention to your posture. Jesus did. He understood that if he had something cool to share with people, and they were really hungry, he'd better get them some food in their bellies first. He understood if he was talking with farmers, he better start with seeds and soil.
If we've got something we'd like to share, enter into a conversation, with both ears, not a script. We won't be heard until we listen. It requires a relationship, not an audience. We don't want the joke to be on us.